This life is so inconsistent; one moment we are living on accolades and admirations and the next we are hiding within our own insecurities and guilt.
Last week was a week of highs and lows for me.
Certain things were working out better than I imagined.
At the same time, I was a little overwhelmed and tired…and for me, sometimes when I get overwhelmed and tired my thoughts get fuzzy and that tiredness turns to weariness and the weariness turns to insecurity.
One day I found myself filled with uncertainty; the next I was recognized for my works. That same day I fall face first into sin and shame as I fail to be gentle and loving to my children. The next day we rejoice in the peaceful and sweet day of learning and loving and the following day, I dishonor my husband and humbly ask for forgiveness.
As I was praying over the crazy moments of the week that left me in both high and low places, I felt the Lord speak to me and say, “No matter where you are or what you are doing, I will keep you vulnerable.”
I was somewhat uncomfortable with the message.
Vulnerability is not something I desire!
In fact, our culture despises the vulnerable.
To be vulnerable is to be weak.
In the bible one of the most vulnerable heroes was Samson. Samson was called to be a leader and to deliver the people from the hands of the Philistines. Samson was described as having “the spirit of the Lord” upon Him and was the strongest man ever, yet the Lord kept him vulnerable. He was to be faithful to the “rule that governs [his] life and work” (Judges 13:12), however, when Samson lost sight of the Lord\’s purpose and calling, he lost his strength, succombed to the lies of Delilah and fell into the hands of the Philistines.
God desired to keep Samson vulnerable and He desires the same for our lives as well.
5 Reasons Why God Desires to keep us Vulnerable?
1. Our vulnerability keeps us focused on our own weaknesses.
We are weak. Our bodies get tired, weary, overwhelmed…our minds are constantly fighting fears, worry, stress, selfishness, guilt…and I can go on and on. Yet all the “weaknesses” we desire so much for Him to take away and banish from our minds and flesh forever are the things that bring us back to the cross daily.
In Judges 15, Samson is tied with ropes and it isn’t until the “spirit of the Lord” comes upon him that the ropes drop from his hands. Without the spirit of the Lord, Samson would not have had the strength to break free from the ties that bound Him. Samson understood his weakness and knew his strengths relied on the spirit of the Lord.
2. Our vulnerability keeps us dependent on God so that we will live a life of faith and trust.
Our selfish, sinful nature will constantly turn away from God and look inward to who and what we can do for ourselves. He keeps us vulnerable so that we have to continually lay aside our selfish nature and obey His desire for our life, no matter our own reasonings.
To live a life of faith is to be vulnerable to the hope of His calling.
In Judges 15, Samson kills 1000 men with a donkey’s jawbone and then cries out to God in desperation because he is thirsty. “God opens the hollow…and water came out of it” (v. 18). Samson, despite the power he had to slay 1000 men, still had to depend and trust God to open the spring and quench his thirst.
3. Our vulnerabilities keep us faithful and proclaim God’s glory instead of our own.
God is faithful and it was God who provided Samson with the jawbone of the donkey.When we humbly look towards Him and obediently take that one small step of faithfulness, that small step can create a domino effect that advances the kingdom and extols His greatness. He keeps you vulnerable so He can use you for His greatness.
It was the spirit of the Lord who came upon Samson, but Samson says, ” With a donkey’s jawbone I have made donkeys of them. With a donkey’s jawbone I have killed a thousand men” (Judges 15:15 NIV, emphasis mine).Unfortunately, When we try to take giant leaps for our own glory, the results go astray and we lose sight of His purpose for our lives.
4. Our vulnerabilities keep us ready to defend against assaults and temptations.
When we are vulnerable we are susceptible to sin and temptation; yet at the same time those vulnerabilities make us aware of the inevitable and oncoming assaults. When we depend on the Lord, He will help us fight and give us strength for the battles of this life. If we try to fight with only our own power, we will be subdued and tied to those sins.
In Judges chapter 16, Samson first sleeps with a prostitute and then later falls in love with Delilah. The interesting thing is that no where in that chapter does the “spirit of the Lord” come upon him. Though he is still able to break free from Delilah’s snares a few times on his own, Samson becomes susceptible to sin because he grows weary of the “nagging…day after day” (v. 16) and he is no longer relying on the “Spirit of the Lord.” He grows weary of the daily battles and assaults and loses the spirit and strength to keep fighting.
5. Our vulnerabilities keep us out of our comfort zone.
When we are too comfortable, we don’t care to fulfill our callings and walk the path set before us. Instead, we would rather lay down all those purposes and satisfy ourselves with what we desire. When we are vulnerable, we remember who God is and that He has called us to live a life of servanthood. If we place our own comforts before our service to Him, we will not only lose our purpose in the kingdom, but we will lose the spirit that leads us to His glory.
Samson became too comfortable in Delilah’s lap. She shaves his head, takes advantage of his vulnerabilities and traps Him. When the Philistines were on him, he “did not know that the Lord had left him” (20).
Samson lost his sight because he lost the vision and purpose for his life. He was given vulnerabilities so that He could remember and depend on the Lord who sustained and strengthened Him. It was only in his blindness that he could see his sinful, selfish ways. Because of God\’s faithfulness, Samson was remembered; and in his most vulnerable state, blind and chained, did God\’s spirit fill him once more in order for his enemies to be brought down and God’s glory manifested.
When we depend on God’s strength, we can see that our own frailties and vulnerable nature can be used for His greatness. He can use every failure, every weakness, every misstep, every suffering for His eternal purpose. If we allow Him to keep us vulnerable, His glory and light will shine through in our most sincere and frail lives; for the beauty of life can be found even in the frailties of our vulnerable selves.