A few years ago a friend said to me, “Everything always seems to work out for you.”
A few years later another friend said, “You always seems to have it all together.”
I don’t have anything together.
In my life I have 3 constants:
My Family (OK, so husband and family kinda fall in the same category, but then I would only have 2 constants…you see I’ve got nothing!)
“You seem to have everything together.”
In my Shakespeare classes of old, one of the major themes was appearance versus reality.
I appear to have it all together.
The reality, however, is so far from that appearance.
And that breaks me.
Because the truth is…I like appearing a certain way.
I’m really good at pretending.
How could anyone trust anything I say or do if they really knew the mess that I am?
How can God use me if people figure out the truth of who I am?
I broke a cup yesterday.
A sweet little espresso cup that I had bought in Little Italy the year before I got married. If you have ever visited our home, we mostly likely have served you Cuban coffee in these little cups.
The crack was barely visible.
It seemed to be together, but the reality was it was broken.
I don’t have it all together.
I may have portrayed that before, because of my own pride and fears, but I am that cup.
I am nothing, but broken and messed up.
My life is a crazy jumbled mess that seems to be pieced together, but if you look closely, it’s broken.
If I were to let you in for real, you wouldn’t see a woman who has it all together.
You’d see a woman who still looks at herself like that same little girl who is afraid of everything.
You’d see a woman who can’t keep up with laundry to save her life.
You’d see a woman who wants so many things, but is so afraid of failing
that she just sets it all aside.
You’d see a woman who wants to adopt or do something big for God,
but she is terrified of all the “what if’s,”
so she doesn’t move.
You’d see a woman who yells at her kids more than she would like to admit.
You’d see a woman who sometimes criticizes her husband, who gets annoyed by her children, who would many times rather escape than be present and who desires recognition despite herself.
You’d see a woman who in the last week hasn’t picked up her bible once.
He has begun to mend the broken pieces.
He can use my broken pieces.
He can make a totally new creation out of my mess.
Seem is irrelevant.
Seem isn’t reality.
The reality is that none of us have it all together.
NONE of us.
The reality is that this life is a mess.
It’s scary and trying and tiring and crazy.
The only real in our life is God.
He is the only one that is true and faithful and good.
It is because of who He is, that I will give over all of my brokenness to Jesus and daily choose to say Yes to what He calls me to.
What seems to be simply isn’t enough anymore.
Beloved, is your life as crazy as mine? Are you a broken cup, pretending to be perfect? Give your broken mess to Jesus. Let Him make your crazy life beautiful.
I am privileged to link up with Kristen Welch From We are That Family, for the launch of her new book, Rhinestone Jesus: Saying Yes to God when sparkly, safe faith is no longer enough.
In her book, Kristen writes about her journey and how she chose to say YES to God despite her messy, not perfect life. It is a beautiful story of God\’s grace and mercy and how God can use each of us when we say YES to Him and His callings.
You can pre-order the book here –