If God is real, Then He will move in you, for you and through you. 

Last year I cried out to God to do something in my life. I was hopeless, passionless and for years moving in and out of the hills and valleys of depression.

I was lost.

God had called me to surrender everything. To stop with my formulas and my plans and my desires and give it all to Him.

Surrender.
And I was terrified.
The phrase “What if” ruled my thoughts.

I was a slave to “if.”

What if I can’t do all you have called me to?
What if I mess up?
What if all of this is too hard?
What if I fall on my face?
What if I live my entire life restless, afraid and depressed?

I had resigned myself to believe that depression was my lot in life…the ‘thorn in my flesh’ that I just need to live with and fight through. It was my battle and through it God would teach me whatever I needed to survive.

And so I was doing just that…barely surviving under the weight of my own religious ideals. Living in fear and desperate for grace.

Then, one weekend in February I got sick. Real sick. And I stayed in bed for 2 days.
My children took care of me and I laid in bed with the toddler and I watched If:Gathering.
All of it.

I could barely walk, I was so dizzy and weak and fatigued.
I was at my lowest physically.
I was my lowest spiritually.

And as each speaker came on stage, their words, spoken through the power of the Holy Spirit fueled me and pierced my heart.
And in my weakness I was strengthened.
And in the words that came through the ipad, I was found.

During the live stream everything I feared was placed in front of me and I realized I had to make a choice.
I had to answer to what I truly believed.

IS GOD REAL?

 

If God is real…He has plans for hope and for my future.
If God is real…I can give Him all my worries and He will give me rest.
If God is real…in my weakness He is strong.
If God is real…He will give me strength and power to soar and run and not grow weary.
If God is real…I have victory and nothing can separate me from His love.
If God is real…I have peace and I don’t have to be afraid.
If God is real…I have been given an abundant life.

Weeks before If, all I heard from God was one word.
Surrender.

Surrender.

And I weakly and shamefully answered…I can’t.
What if I can’t?

And His reply was, “I Can…Surrender.” 

A few weeks prior I wrote in my journal:

 

He has made me realize the fact that I can’t do it….any of it.

I can’t force my kids to love Jesus or give their lives to Him.
I can’t help my husband be a better father or leader or husband and I certainly can’t manipulate him to be what or who I expect him to be.
I can’t expect my friends to fill me when I’m empty and soothe my ego or soften my failures.
I can’t expect my church or pastors to minister to me in the way I think I need to be ministered to in 30 minutes on  a Sunday.
I can’t keep my laundry from overflowing.
I can’t find time for anyone else’s needs to be met, including my own.
I can’t keep a meal plan.
I can’t give my husband the love and respect he deserves.
I can’t be the mother my children need and the mother I desperately want to be.
I can’t be consistent in anything.
I can’t barely even pray.
I can’t.

Those two words haunt me. They carry so much weight. They overwhelm me and have so much fear rooted in what if.
They cripple me.

I can pretend. I’m good at pretending. But I don’t want to pretend anymore.
So what do I do? Surrender like He’s asked me to?

The truth is I’m afraid because I don’t know if I can. What if I can’t? What if I can’t do what You are calling me to?

Surrender.

But I’m scared.

Surrender.

What if…

Surrender.

And on that weekend in February I laid in my bed, curled up into a fetal position and I wept.
On that weekend via the livestream of If:Gathering I learned the truth of my life and my God.

 

I learned that I had been delivered, but wasn’t set free. I was walking around in the wilderness of life waiting for freedom that was already mine.

And Christine Caine asked If I wasn’t afraid, what would I do for God? I was bound to fear…but Jesus had delivered me from fear. But it was not until that moment that I realize I WAS SET FREE!
I had been entangled in fear and I couldn’t run the race set before me!

Because IF GOD is REAL…I DON’T HAVE TO BE AFRAID!!!

And when you are free…You want to free others! 

I learned that HE wants all of me, where I am, right now…today.

I learned from Rebekah Lyons that the root of anxiety and depression is UNFULFILLED RESPONSIBILITIES!

She said, “You know you were meant for more and you aren’t doing it!”

And I wept. And I cried out to God and said “I’m sorry, because I have been so afraid and so faithless and crippled by my fear.”

I learned that callings are where your talents and your burdens collide and I could GO and BE who I already was!

I was challenged to give up and fully trust and not try to control or fix or have a plan but to ABANDON myself to Christ.
We fade when we don’t know who we are but…

When He becomes our focus all else grows strangely dim.
The fall may be all around us, but it is NOT in us! Christ’s Glory is in me!

And from that one weekend of illness and weakness I was never, ever the same.

Ocean

This week a friend of mine wrote to me and said, “You are an inspirational woman…” and I laughed; because 8 months ago I was a shell of a girl. A little girl who was afraid of everything. Who was defeated and living day to day, just getting by.

I’m not saying I don’t battle fears and doubts and all that stuff, of course I do…But what I am saying is that I am not that girl anymore. I no longer “conform to the patterns of this world” but I am daily “transformed by the renewing of my mind.” Romans 12:2.  

I want to be FEARLESS.

I want to be UNSTOPPABLE.

I want to run this race hard and strong, gasping for breath as I reach for more of Him and less of me.

I want to hold on to Jesus with everything in me and with a grip so tight that my knuckles are white and I will not let go.

I want to dream and let God’s Holy Spirit lead me and I will follow one step at a time and when I am scared and when I don’t know if I can and when I doubt I will abide in Him and His word and His truths and His promises and I’ll rest in Him and He’ll carry me and then I’ll keep running.

If God is real, He wants me and you and we have got to pursue him with everything in us. We have got to see people the way He sees them. We have got to have broken hearts for all that breaks His heart. And we have to go after His kingdom and storm the Gates of Hell.

If God is real, He will move in me and through me and He will mobilize all of us with passions and gifts that go beyond all reason and sense and doubts until the glory of the one true king returns.

On February 6-7th, there will be a generation of women gathering together all over the world to come and be equipped in the vision, plans, passions and purposes of our Mighty God.

And God will unleash a movement and a power like never before and it is time to step up and out and bring forth the Kingdom.

His promises are real and true, so I encourage you to find an if:local in your area and gather together and let the power of the Holy Spirit unleash in you and through you like never before.

Allow your passions and your purposes and your burdens for this word to collide and go into this world and preach the good news to every single living person.

If God is real, Then He will move in you, for you and through you. 

Last year I cried out to God to do something in my life. I was hopeless, passionless and for years moving in and out of the hills and valleys of depression.

I was lost.

God had called me to surrender everything. To stop with my formulas and my plans and my desires and give it all to Him.

Surrender.
And I was terrified.
The phrase “What if” ruled my thoughts.

I was a slave to “if.”

What if I can’t do all you have called me to?
What if I mess up?
What if all of this is too hard?
What if I fall on my face?
What if I live my entire life restless, afraid and depressed?

I had resigned myself to believe that depression was my lot in life…the ‘thorn in my flesh’ that I just need to live with and fight through. It was my battle and through it God would teach me whatever I needed to survive.

And so I was doing just that…barely surviving under the weight of my own religious ideals. Living in fear and desperate for grace.

Then, one weekend in February I got sick. Real sick. And I stayed in bed for 2 days.
My children took care of me and I laid in bed with the toddler and I watched If:Gathering.
All of it.

I could barely walk, I was so dizzy and weak and fatigued.
I was at my lowest physically.
I was my lowest spiritually.

And as each speaker came on stage, their words, spoken through the power of the Holy Spirit fueled me and pierced my heart.
And in my weakness I was strengthened.
And in the words that came through the ipad, I was found.

During the live stream everything I feared was placed in front of me and I realized I had to make a choice.
I had to answer to what I truly believed.

IS GOD REAL?

 

If God is real…He has plans for hope and for my future.
If God is real…I can give Him all my worries and He will give me rest.
If God is real…in my weakness He is strong.
If God is real…He will give me strength and power to soar and run and not grow weary.
If God is real…I have victory and nothing can separate me from His love.
If God is real…I have peace and I don’t have to be afraid.
If God is real…I have been given an abundant life.

Weeks before If, all I heard from God was one word.
Surrender.

Surrender.

And I weakly and shamefully answered…I can’t.
What if I can’t?

And His reply was, “I Can…Surrender.” 

A few weeks prior I wrote in my journal:

 

He has made me realize the fact that I can’t do it….any of it.

I can’t force my kids to love Jesus or give their lives to Him.
I can’t help my husband be a better father or leader or husband and I certainly can’t manipulate him to be what or who I expect him to be.
I can’t expect my friends to fill me when I’m empty and soothe my ego or soften my failures.
I can’t expect my church or pastors to minister to me in the way I think I need to be ministered to in 30 minutes on  a Sunday.
I can’t keep my laundry from overflowing.
I can’t find time for anyone else’s needs to be met, including my own.
I can’t keep a meal plan.
I can’t give my husband the love and respect he deserves.
I can’t be the mother my children need and the mother I desperately want to be.
I can’t be consistent in anything.
I can’t barely even pray.
I can’t.

Those two words haunt me. They carry so much weight. They overwhelm me and have so much fear rooted in what if.
They cripple me.

I can pretend. I’m good at pretending. But I don’t want to pretend anymore.
So what do I do? Surrender like He’s asked me to?

The truth is I’m afraid because I don’t know if I can. What if I can’t? What if I can’t do what You are calling me to?

Surrender.

But I’m scared.

Surrender.

What if…

Surrender.

And on that weekend in February I laid in my bed, curled up into a fetal position and I wept.
On that weekend via the livestream of If:Gathering I learned the truth of my life and my God.

 

I learned that I had been delivered, but wasn’t set free. I was walking around in the wilderness of life waiting for freedom that was already mine.

And Christine Caine asked If I wasn’t afraid, what would I do for God? I was bound to fear…but Jesus had delivered me from fear. But it was not until that moment that I realize I WAS SET FREE!
I had been entangled in fear and I couldn’t run the race set before me!

Because IF GOD is REAL…I DON’T HAVE TO BE AFRAID!!!

And when you are free…You want to free others! 

I learned that HE wants all of me, where I am, right now…today.

I learned from Rebekah Lyons that the root of anxiety and depression is UNFULFILLED RESPONSIBILITIES!

She said, “You know you were meant for more and you aren’t doing it!”

And I wept. And I cried out to God and said “I’m sorry, because I have been so afraid and so faithless and crippled by my fear.”

I learned that callings are where your talents and your burdens collide and I could GO and BE who I already was!

I was challenged to give up and fully trust and not try to control or fix or have a plan but to ABANDON myself to Christ.
We fade when we don’t know who we are but…

When He becomes our focus all else grows strangely dim.
The fall may be all around us, but it is NOT in us! Christ’s Glory is in me!

And from that one weekend of illness and weakness I was never, ever the same.

Ocean

This week a friend of mine wrote to me and said, “You are an inspirational woman…” and I laughed; because 8 months ago I was a shell of a girl. A little girl who was afraid of everything. Who was defeated and living day to day, just getting by.

I’m not saying I don’t battle fears and doubts and all that stuff, of course I do…But what I am saying is that I am not that girl anymore. I no longer “conform to the patterns of this world” but I am daily “transformed by the renewing of my mind.” Romans 12:2.  

I want to be FEARLESS.

I want to be UNSTOPPABLE.

I want to run this race hard and strong, gasping for breath as I reach for more of Him and less of me.

I want to hold on to Jesus with everything in me and with a grip so tight that my knuckles are white and I will not let go.

I want to dream and let God’s Holy Spirit lead me and I will follow one step at a time and when I am scared and when I don’t know if I can and when I doubt I will abide in Him and His word and His truths and His promises and I’ll rest in Him and He’ll carry me and then I’ll keep running.

If God is real, He wants me and you and we have got to pursue him with everything in us. We have got to see people the way He sees them. We have got to have broken hearts for all that breaks His heart. And we have to go after His kingdom and storm the Gates of Hell.

If God is real, He will move in me and through me and He will mobilize all of us with passions and gifts that go beyond all reason and sense and doubts until the glory of the one true king returns.

On February 6-7th, there will be a generation of women gathering together all over the world to come and be equipped in the vision, plans, passions and purposes of our Mighty God.

And God will unleash a movement and a power like never before and it is time to step up and out and bring forth the Kingdom.

His promises are real and true, so I encourage you to find an if:local in your area and gather together and let the power of the Holy Spirit unleash in you and through you like never before.

Allow your passions and your purposes and your burdens for this word to collide and go into this world and preach the good news to every single living person.

Find an if:Local and be equipped to be unleashed to change your world forever.
You can find an if:local in your area  click Here
To learn more about If:Gathering click Here
If you live in or near the West Houston area and want to join the if:local I am hosting please comment below and I will contact you.

God is moving friends and He wants to use you where you are and right now.
Will you surrender to what He is calling you to?
Will you risk it?
What are you afraid of?

If God is real…Then what?

Don’t forget to enter to win the Fabulous pair of Dior Sunglasses ($160 value) today! Click here to Enter!

You are His Beloved,
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Don’t forget to enter to win the Fabulous pair of Dior Sunglasses ($160 value) today! Click here to Enter!

You are His Beloved,
andrea_signature

Don’t Miss a Post!

Enter your email below to get updates from Beautiful Craziness delivered right to your inbox!

Delivered by FeedBurner

Link-Ups

Linking up with these great blogs!

See Link-Ups

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