I wanted to write a post on thankfulness, gratitude, blessings of this year as it slowly dwindles to the end.
My God, I have so much to be thankful for. So much.
But as I thought about this year and as I looked over and reflected some more, I couldn’t help but think life has never been more wonderful and more difficult as well.
This year has been one of worry, sickness, uncertainty.
I started this year depressed, feeling like a complete failure as a mother and lacking intention in my marriage and completely lost as a woman saved by Grace.
BUT the Grace of God. Amazing grace.
God took all of these things, these weights that I carried and though He didn’t change or take away any of the circumstances. He broke me instead.
My first act of surrender, of falling on my face before God and lifting my nothing filled hands and suddenly, a whirlwind of change was activated.
I’ve come to realize that my life and how I live life is completely dependent upon my surrendering every aspect to Jesus. And therefore, my life and my complete surrender is in complete opposition to how this world lives.
What I see, what I desire, what I long for has flipped and focused not on the things of this world, but on God’s plan and desire for my life.
For so long I desired a formula versus faith.
I desired control versus surrender.
I desired a plan versus trust.
I desired my own works verses the hope in Christ Jesus.
I desired my dreams versus the kingdom of God.
I desired fame and recognition versus the audience and applause of one.
I desired security versus sanctification.
I desired perfection versus purity.
Sometime this year each of these desires began to flip.
I began to live the flipside of life.
My little girl has this super reversible jacket. On one side it’s a shiny, silver, plain but pretty fabric. The other side is filled with a colorful heart pattern with shiny pinks and purples.
I tried to show her that she could wear it on the flip side, but she refused. She wanted the color, the pink, the hearts. In her eyes, the shiny silver was dull and lifeless compared to the vibrant, colorful hearts.
And she was right.
How many of us are walking this life wearing the dull side, not realizing if we just flip our faith and turn it inside out, life is brighter?
Flipping it take work. It may take faith and giving up your old ways and you comforts. It may even contrast against what everyone else does. Yet, once we start living on the flip side, we realize we don’t want the idull side of this life.
So this year, in my heart I am celebrating Thanksgiving on the flip side.
I am thankful for weakness, because in my weakness HE is strong.
I am thankful for trials and tests of my faith because those trials develop perseverance.
I am thankful for the hard road of this life, because though this way is narrow, that I t leads to life and Glory to God that I have found the way!
I am thankful for being scared in what He calls me to because that fear makes me walk in faith and press into Him.
I’m thankful for emptiness, because the void I long to fill keeps me hungry for more of Him.
I’m thankful for restlessness, because in that restlessness, I find my purpose and what stirs my heart for the Kingdom.
I am thankful for a broken heart, because it keeps my eyes open to the hurts of this world and keeps me desperate for His coming.
I am thankful for unfulfilled dreams because they give me hope that one day my desires and His desires will soon collide to bring Him glory.
I’m thankful for messed up plans because in those plans, I keep my trust on the unseen hope.
I’m thankful for a lack of control, because without it I would not surrender to Him daily.
I’m thankful for my failures because without them, I would not know forgiveness and mercy and grace.
I’m thankful that despite my failures, He sees me as faithful.
Living on the flip side is not easy, but He is worth it.
Are you living on the flip side? What are you thankful for?
May God bless you and yours and fill you with gratitude and praise this Thanksgiving.